So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
