So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
