theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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