he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize