rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
