Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
