Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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