But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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