Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
