So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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