Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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