she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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