Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
