we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize