After last night, I could never be a politician.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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