Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize