I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize