VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize