We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
