so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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