i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
