He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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