so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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