I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
