there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize