my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
