OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
