I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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