Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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