Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
