my sisters under your porch take her home
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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