i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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