i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
