um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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