im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
