I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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