its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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