haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
