I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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