3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
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Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
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I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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