What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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