brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
