If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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