Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
