Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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