Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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