Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
