found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
