I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.