Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.