I hate your face
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.