im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?