How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence