Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
