I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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