So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
