Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
