I can text with my tongue
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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