summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
