i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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