You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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