If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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