Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
