did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
