Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
