the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
