just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
as a side note pls kill me
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