I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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