Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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