They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
