well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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