I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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