why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
honey bunches of taint.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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